Is The Glass Really Half Empty?

Our greatest happiness does not depend on the condition of life in which chance has placed us, but is always the result of a good conscience, good health, occupation, and freedom in all just pursuits.—Thomas Jefferson

                Sometimes a quote comes out of nowhere and sucker punches a person!  It might leave a welt, but most times it just leaves a vague feeling of self-doubt and a “What the…?” moment.  Mr. Jefferson probably never knew that hundreds of years after saying the above gem a thirty-year-old woman at a major crossroads in her life would read it and be inspired.

                All too often people, myself included, walk around with a “kick me” sign on our backs and a “Hello, my name is Victim” nametag on our chests.  We refuse to remove the “kick me” sign, and cry foul whenever somebody or something kicks us.  At times we almost wear our Victim nametags with pride.  And I ask, when is this going to stop?  When are we going to stop being the victims?  When are we going to realize that we make our own happiness?  We can’t buy it at Wal-Mart, we can’t build it with super-glue, we can’t marry into it, we can’t give birth to it, and we certainly can’t work into it. 

                Thomas Jefferson said that it does not matter when or where we are born; it does not matter if we are born into a rich or poor family; it does not matter if we are born with Stephen Hawking-type intelligence or average intelligence; what matters is how WE deal with those opportunities or challenges.  Are we going to let problems defeat us and make us weak, or will we take those challenges, meet them, and overcome? 

                To answer that question is quite simple.  Christy Brown.  This man was born with a very severe case of Cerebral Palsy.  He could not walk or talk.  In fact, doctors told his mother to stick him in an institution because he was not like her other kids…why waste her time?  Under constant barrage from doctors and family members, Christy’s mother never gave up on her boy; she knew Christy was not “stupid”.  And one day, Christy proved it.  With a piece of chalk between the toes of his left foot, he wrote the word “mother”.  He ended up writing two books…all with his left foot. 

                There are numerous stories of people with severe problems who overcome them and are HAPPY!  Could it be that we, as humans, tend to be our own worst enemies.  We should be so active in achieving happiness that the old men who made up all those ridiculous grammar rules need to change happiness from a noun to a verb! 

                So rip off that “kick me” sign and tear off that ridiculous looking name tag, and go get some happiness…who knows, it might just change your life!

****Please read Christy Brown’s story in his first book My Left Foot; if you are not the reading type, the movie adaptation is well worth a look-see.

Who Needs Chocolate Anyway?

             Ah, Valentine’s Day.  The most dreaded holiday.  But why?  What else could a girl want besides some over-priced chocolate that will go straight to her hips or specially-priced roses sold to women everywhere?  Could it be that we want something more from this “love holiday”? 

            The answer is “yes”!  We want something much more…we want love.  As simple as this sounds, this can be a daunting task.  And, unfortunately, love does not come in forms of chocolate, roses, lingerie (which we know is really a present for the giver!!!), or fancy, expensive dinners.  But we’ve been taught all of our lives, through the commercialization of EVERY single holiday, Valentine’s being one of them, that in order to show someone we love them, we must buy him/her things.  This is not true.  For the pocketbook, this news is good; for the unimaginative, this news is bad.  So before you go out and buy that heart-shaped container with 16,000 different varieties of weird-tasting chocolate, let’s take a look at how you can make someone’s life a whole lot sweeter.

1.       Cook a home-cooked meal…and do the dishes!  Gentlemen, there is nothing more romantic than a dinner made by you, candle-lit atmosphere, Barry White, a glass or glasses of wine, and chocolate for two.  You might be surprised how your lady thanks youJ

2.       Dedicate a day just for each other.  Giving a gift takes one minute.  Really show your appreciation and love by spending the day (doesn’t have to be on Valentine’s Day) with your significant other.  Whether it’s spending time outdoors (for those of you in warmer climates) or snuggled up to your sweetie watching your wedding video, your loved one will remember it all his/her life…make it momentous!

3.       Give a handmade present or card.  Anybody can go to a store, buy something, and give it.  Really make your loved one’s day by making something that you know they’ll love.  If you’re not handy with power tools, a hot-glue gun…or scissors, make a card.  There is nothing more romantic than YOUR words stating exactly how you feel.

4.        A full body massage…I don’t think further explanation is necessary!

For those of you with children don’t forget to include them on Valentine’s Day!  They also need to be reminded that they are loved and appreciated.  If the sugar shock caused by too many chocolates makes your eye twitch, try these ideas instead:

1.       Turn off the television and unearth those old board games! 

2.       Make special treats with your little ones.

3.       Cut out hearts and make Valentine’s for each other  

4.       Allow them to help make a “gourmet” Valentine’s meal.

5.       Go somewhere special with your children (zoo, arcade, batting cages, water park, etc.)

6.       Write a special story about your children, and then read it to them.

7.       Get pieces of tag board and create a picture together

So no matter who you spend Valentine’s with, remember that it’s not the flowers, candy, or stuffed animals that matter, it is how you make your loved ones feel.  So in closing, Happy Valentine’s Day to my family, friends, and readers!  I hope your day is as special as you.