Fifteen minutes ago I attempted to give a cat a bath. Most of you are probably scratching your head in wonderment; I, too, am wondering what I was smoking. Between the jaws of death and paws of destruction, I near escaped with my skin attached to my body. But, I survived and am here to forewarn those who may someday walk down the same path. As your blogging superhero sidekick, I consider it my duty to educate you, my dear readers, on some choices better left to the professionals or the idiots.
Sticking your tongue on a frozen piece of metal (for a mental picture watch The Christmas Story)
Bobsledding down a flight of stairs, unless of course you want to have missing teeth.
Calling your mother when you are in a hurry.
Me: “Yeah, Mom, that’s great, but I’ve gotta go,”
Mom: “Did I mention your aunt had surgery on her bunion?”
Me: “Gotta go, Caiden is sitting on Gabriel’s head!”
Mom: “OK I’ll tell you about it later. You should send her a card though.”
Me: Click
Sending your husband (or any male for that matter) to the store without a list.
Telling your significant other “you decide; I don’t care” when they go to the video store. You’ll either get stuck with Rambo 25 or some sappy chick-flick.
Telling your children to go get whatever snack they want. Marshmallows and barbeque sauce make for a wonderful healthy snack. This is also similar to the snack a husband will concoct.
Taking a nap with a toddler who is not wearing a diaper. You’ll think you peed yourself!
Never tell your male friend it’s ok for him to give “a buddy” of his your number. In all fairness his tooth is a nice one!
Let your husband have access to ladders without supervision.
Never ask your husband and sister to help with a “Never Do List”…they will prove to be absolutely useless.
So in closing, please use caution if you feel competent and physically fit enough to attack any of the above scenarios.
I know there are many things that could be on this list that I haven’t mentioned. Please add to my list in the comments area.
On another note, please look for new postings on Sundays. With crunch time at school, my schedule is extremely hectic, so I will no longer be able to post on Wednesdays. See you next Sunday! Have a blessed and happy week.
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