Very Brave

The Nobel Peace Prize, the Congressional Medal of Honor, the Purple Heart.  What do these three illustrious awards have in common?  Well, if you answered that they all reward people for brave and important work, you’d be correct.  I, however, feel that these awards leave out some of the bravest and most courageous of all people.  Who?  To get your answer look around you the next time you go shopping.  Take notice of the man (who looks as if he just got off the tractor) loitering outside the women’s dressing rooms.  For further reconnaissance, look for the wife’s pink, froo-frooey, knock off Gucci bag hanging unceremoniously from his hairy forearm.  If you’re still in doubt and getting ready to dig your mace out from the bottom of your own knock-off designer purse, look for the look of absolute pain and hopelessness sketched on the man’s face.  This, my dear readers, is proof that you are not going to be attacked in your dressing room as you’re trying to wrestle yourself out of tricky dress that looked immensely better on the mannequin.  You are simply a witness to the biggest act of bravery and courage known to man.  “The Man Shopping With His Woman”.

My husband, bless his heart, is such a man.  He often holds my knock-off purse with pride just on the off chance that those jeans I’m trying on will make my butt pop just right.  He’s a man…he’s easily pleased…what can I say.  The men I’m talking about are the poor suckers who believed their female significant other’s lie for the millionth time.  “Dear, I’m just going to be a minute.  I just want to try on one thing.”  One thing escalates into forty different outfits plus accessories.  Just watch this poor man next time.  With every outfit discarded because of pesky issues only the woman can see, you will see his face fall deeper and deeper into the abyss of man boredom.  Refrain from judging the man.  All he wants to do is go to Scheel’s to look at tents, sleeping bags and guns.

So how do we reward such chivalrous behavior?  A quick trip to the mall food court usually suffices to stem the manly whining, but I’m thinking something bigger.  A shiny trophy to place next to the picture of relationship bliss would be even better.  So, ladies, the next time you go shopping with your man, remember he is just a man.  You don’t have to get him a medal or trophy, simply reward his presence with holding your own purse.